Your grass is beautiful…

Im not gonna lie…  it can be hard not getting a tad jealous sometimes when you feel things arent going right for you.  You get on Facebook and are bombarded with all these beautiful posts and pictures of your “friends” lives. All the happy couples, the wonderful things their kids are doing, how fast they lost twenty pounds in 2 days, how quick their hair grew back after it was shaved off, how their being “blessed” (ONCE AGAIN) by “God” which is ironic since you personally know their a spawn of the devil. 

You must remember though… pictures posted on Facebook/Instagram are usually only the good things people choose to show you. All the good moments. Your not seeing the struggles,  the crying,  the arguments and most importantly… the LIES and exaggerations. Im not saying everyones lying with what they post.  Nor am I saying don’t be happy for people. What I am saying is….  Be happy for people but appreciate YOURself and YOUR life.  Dont be jealous or envious thinking the grass is greener on their side of the fence… Because that grass your admiring most likely isnt even real.

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To be loved…

I wrote this post as I sat outside at 1am just to escape all the loud crying from two little ones.  Its tiresome and frustrating to deal with children literally all day!  Even when my spouse is home its as if he’s not home because men are soooo different from women (in general).  My spouse will keep sleeping through loud shrills and cries in the middle of the night. If the baby rolls over and falls out the bed im pretty sure my spouse will lay in bed like he didn’t hear a thing just so I can get the baby.  He leaves the apartment with no thought in mind to take at least one of the kids with him. He sleeps on the couch so he can get rest while im left in the bedroom woke trying to get two little ones to sleep.  If the baby is crying he’ll hold the baby (NEAR ME mind you) and just let the baby cry in his arms for hours!   He gets the freedom to go to the restroom alone!  Take showers alone!   Not only that but he shuts the door when he goes in! 😱  I wouldn’t dare shut the door!   One of the kids would most certainly die,  choke or have some type of emergency if I thought of closing the door for 30 seconds of peace!  He eats ALL his food UNINTERRUPTED while I sit their feeding a newborn and trying to eat while my daughter sticks her big head into my plate trying to eat whats on my fork. It can be infuriating not getting a moments rest while the husband carelessly breezes through life 😠

Then I think about other moments like when he comes home after a 12hr shift and  goes into the bedroom to sit and play legos with our daughter. Or how when a commercial with music comes on and our daughter pulls him off the couch to dance with her… he ALWAYS gets up even if he’s eating. He reads to them every night though he’s falling asleep between each sentence. He wakes up at 5am to go to work for 12 hours and battle crazy Houston traffic never once complaining or making mention on the fact of how im a at-home mom (tho thats a job too).  My husband frustrates me to no end!  Usually because everything he does tends to be wrong! Yes,  my husband is not perfect in no sense of the word; but he’s a good guy and a wonderful dad and for that im grateful 🌹

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Its alright mommy…

Being a mom I never knew just how many questions,  judgements and opinions come out the woodwork regarding you and your little ones. I will ALWAYS be in awe at how people honestly feel that they have a say so in what you do as a parent.  First they want to know when you’re having a child as if you can see into the future. When you do get pregnant they want to know “was it an accident”?  After you have the first baby people want to know when you’re having the second baby. Once you have two children you’ll have people telling you they hope your done… especially when you have a boy and a girl because “any child afterward is just a duplicate” . If you have two of the same-sex they want to know if you’re gonna try for a baby of the opposite sex. When you try and fail at producing one of the opposite sex now people will tell you to “just give up and be done” .

If you want more kids and can afford to have more kids than by all means… GO FOR IT! Dont let people dictate your life.

Besides being told how many and when to stop having children… everyone has an opinion on what you wanna name your child. Now im gonna give you some free advise. There is no name your going to come up with that everyone is going to like. So don’t change what you want to name YOUR baby. Those same people who hate the name when you’re pregnant will be the same ones who magically love the name once the baby is born.  If they still don’t like the name its only because they SUCK!

Your judged if you don’t want your pregnant tummy rubbed because supposedly once your pregnant you give up the right to not be touched.  People who had an easy pregnancy think you’re over-exagerrating your symptoms and don’t understand why you’re so miserable.  People with hard pregnancies are ticked off because your pregnant and have the audacity to smile. People have opinions on stay-at home moms because “we don’t do nothing all day” . Yet if you choose to go to work “why don’t you want to be home with your child”  and “why leave your child for someone else to raise” ? Your judged if you “do” have an epidural because people in the past didn’t use epidural and you should want to experience the WHOLE experience of having a baby. Your judged if you “don’t” have an epidural because “who are you trying to be…  Superman”? If you don’t breastfeed your doing a disservice to your baby.  If you do breastfeed don’t do it in public… your ONLY allowed to feed your baby in the darkest lowliest places of the earth. If you spank your child “your abusive”.  If you don’t spank your child “you’re the reason why kids are so bad these days”. It never ends!

Parenting is a learning lesson. What works for one parent may not work for another.

Every pregnancy is different

Every child is different

Every parent is different

Every situation is diffrent

There are NO GUARANTEES in life.  A great parent can raise a bad adult and a bad parent can raise a good adult. No matter how wonderful you try to be as a parent unfortunately you’re not your childs only influence. Someone will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have an opinion on what you’re doing and what you’re not doing.  Theres nothing wrong with getting someones opinion or heeding advise. Theres nothing wrong with observing others and learning of other ways to handle stuff.  For all the other unsolicited advise and opinions of others… Shut That Noise Out, Believe in yourself and be the best parent YOU can be 💖

For the good times…

I just got back from vacation with my family. The trip did not turn out the way I had hoped and imagined it would. You plan and wait a whole year for a vacation and when its finally here and you get to your location… your children are whiney & wont sleep at night. Your super tired and lacking in energy. Everything is rushed because your trying to get too many things packed into a short amount of days. Its not just you on the vacation so your trying to accommodate everyone so that everyone can feel to a certain extent that this vacation you planned was all worth it and that they didnt waste their money. Not to mention before you left for vacation… bills that didn’t exist prior to vacation suddenly transpire outta thin air & are due immediately.  So now you dont have the money you thought you’d have for vacation.

Its soooooo easy to dwell on everything that went wrong. Then you step back, breath  and start smiling as you think about the hidden positives you had. The simple moments when everyone is sitting around laughing, talking and shooting pool. The moments where everyone is sharing whatever food, drinks & /or items they bought from Walmart . Everyone standing in line together to get on amusement park rides. Watching the fireworks display at night. Ducking and dodging the police because youve packd too many ppl in one small SUV. (You weren’t expecting that last comment were you?)  lol Let me tell you I learned two things that afternoon … #1- a life of crime is NOT for me! Dont try to cram more than the alotted specified amount of people to a vehicle.   Between avoiding eye contact with other motorist outta fear of being “turned in” and hiding from every sheriff car I saw… I had to have had at least 40 mini heart attacks in a 20 minute car ride. Its just not worth it!!  Heart attacks and fines all because some people dont want to make two trips getting and taking people to the store. #2- in the unfortunate chance a cop stops behind you at a red light, your more flexible than you think. Adults get into a cramped car sore, stiff and immobile but let a cop car get behind you… Its amazing how the stiffest people can simultaneously loosen and breakdown every bone in their body so that they can duck down into the smallest of crevasses. We probably looked like a bunch of transformers shape shifting around in that car. Funniest thing ive ever seen and been a part of but not my proudest moment.

Thats the great thing about the mind. You can choose to either dwell on all the wrongs that happened or you can instead choose to focus on all the memories that made you smile. EDIT EDIT EDIT what you choose to dwell on and make your memories beautiful 🌹

mom vs dad

So im at-home with the kids all day today.  A 4-month old and a 2 year old. Im meeting the husband up at Burlington coat factory later this evening when he gets off work so we can buy a few odds and ends that we need. Im in the store with a baby that’s getting restless and a 2 year old that wants to excercise her legs  by running and jumping hurdles through racks of clothes. I keep looking at the clock because as soon as the husband comes ill have help in dealing with these two “blessings” I have. 9pm comes and I get a call from the husband saying he’s here… where am I? “OH HAPPY DAY” ive got help.

Well…  he takes the baby while im in the dressing room. Thats very convenient for him seeing as how the  baby is now asleep. The 2yr old… my daughter stays with me in the dressing room. I continue trying on outfits as im telln her to stop trying to crawl under the door.  Of course she thinks its funny which makes her crawl even faster into the next fitting room.  All you hear from my dressing room is grunts, “stop it’s”,  “you better not’s”,  “get over here’s” and “see, thats why you hurt yourself,  you shoulda listened to me”.  Finally im done trying on clothes.  Me and my lil “blessing” go searching for the husband to meet up with him. As im searching for the husband  of course my daughter is an escape artist and can wiggle that little hand of hers outta mine and go full steam ahead through the next 5 aisles. As im chasing her and eventually catching up with her she chooses to lift both her legs off the ground as im holding her hand.  Im sure looking through the store camera’s it looks like im dragging my daughter and thats ok with me… “I DONT CARE!”  Shes welcome to bring her feet back to the ground if it becomes an issue for her.  Finally I see the husband.

The baby of course was content with him until he (my newborn) caught sight of me. He starts screaming for me so I go ahead and pick up my newborn and hold him. I walk away to continue shopping until I notice my lil toddler is trodding alone behind me. “Fine!! ”  I say to myself… she seems to have mellowed out.  Well she stayed mellow for 2minutes. She shoots off down the aisle and my newborn is talking loudly and laughing in my ear. Im sure hes enjoying having a front row seat to watching his mother blood pressure raise.  So now Im chasing my daughter with a newborn in my arms.  My busband is somewhere in the store no doubt enjoying his shopping experience. I catch up to my toddler and grab her hand… once again with her lifting her feet off the ground so once again… shes being dragged.

I finally see the husband again and I angrily say “here’s your daughter” then i turn and walk away.  Surely he saw the frustration in his wifes eyes and feels sympathy for me. WRONG…. WRONG!   I stop in a aisle and who bumps into my leg?  thats right… my toddler!! I turn eyeing EACH aisle looking for him.  I finally see him. Is he panicking because he dont know where his daughter went? NOPE!  Instead hes in the freakn aisle with the buggy dancing to Katy Perry.  At that moment im glaring my eyes at him and seething hatred is overtaking me. If looks could kill my husband would not only be dead but unrecognizable.

Its amazing how you can have two people in similar situations but they both have two totally different experiences.  Thats why if you ask a mother vs the dad… choose what the mom says because her version will most likely be more accurate. (no offense to the dads of course)

The joys of motherhood

Growing up I always knew I wanted to be an at-home-mom. Throughout my  childhood I always heard my mom say how guilty she felt for never being able to go on field trips with us.  Never being able to come up to our school for lunches or activities with us due to her job.  So I KNEW i didn’t want to have her same regrets.  I’d be home with my babies and be able to see and  be a part of every step they make. Well,  now I’m an adult and I have my two lil ones and all I can think is “GET ME OUTTA HERE”!! I have to battle feelings of guilt sometimes  because I dont feel the way i “think”  i should feel about being a mother.  Yes I love my children & yes im a good mother to my children; but when people ask” dont you just LOVE being a mom”? My answer is and will always be…. Heck naw!

I feel guilty about that because you see and watch other moms who seem to relish the title of  being a mom.  They can tell you an abundance of their favorite moments.  They can list all their kids best quirks and qualities.  All i can tell you is my baby once again woke up 12 times last  night and my toddler once again through all her lego’s in the toilet. Being a parent theres a never ending struggle trying to survive. Not to mention the unnecessary stress of people giving you unsolicited advice and/or taking liberties with your children that you dont agree with… like kissing your child on the lips 😠

Tho I dont have an overjoyed attitude at the title of being a mom I do recognize how Ive changed after becoming a mom. Being a mom has helped me to step up “my game” with myself. Im naturally shy and usually take every opportunity to avoid crowds and anything that makes me standout.  But being a mom forces me to take the lead and have the courage to walk into uncomfortable situations especially when I have my little girl right beside me watching me.  It forces me to get up in a crowd when I have to rush her to the rest room.  It makes me strive to stand taller and have more confidence in myself because I want my daughter to exhibit those qualities. I want her to be everything that I wasnt & all the things I may had been had I believed in myself. Being a mom also forced me to step out of my comfort zone and join mommy groups because I want my children to get to know and play with other little ones. It teaches you to speak up to others if you or your childs boundaries are being infringed on.

We are ALL different and each one of us have totally different personalities. Thats what I have to remember when I start comparing myself to other mommies.  Were ALL dealing with self doubts,  questions,  guilt & frustrations. So for all the mommies fathers parents…  know your not alone, do  your best & dont compare your journey to others. Your not going to be happy every moment as a parent and that’s ok. With that being said… mommihood isnt so bad and after taking a moment to reflect I do see I have joys of motherhood too 😊

Feel free to post your thoughts below.