This too shall pass…

I was sitting here overwhelmed as I wrote up a budget for me and my husband.  I LOVE budgeting my money.  I like being able to physically see where my money is going and will be going with each check.  Like alot of people though sometimes you have alot more things to do and pay on than you do actual money.  So I was getting alittle overwhelmed constantly plotting how to stretch the almighty dollar. As Im sitting here writing up a budget… my daughter is watching the cutest little show called “Doc McStuffins”.

Its a cartoon about alittle girl whose a toy doctor. Toys come alive when she pushes her stethoscope and they come to her to be fixed. On this episode her waiting room was full of broken toys waiting to be fixed.  When she saw how many broken toys there were she got overwhelmed and started stressing about if she’ll be able to take care of all of them.  Her little hippopotamus assistant said something that instantly made me look up from writing my budget.  She said “Stop looking at the BIG picture and take things one at a time“. 😮💡Thats the thing about cartoons…  they may cater to kids but they have some of the best morals to them.

I instantly tried to narrow my scope from worrying about how what I chose to pay or not pay in February was gonna affect March and so on and so on. Im just going to take it a month at a time. Theres a variety of ways to do things and sometimes we get sooooooo focused on “THIS WAY” that we dont realize there’s limitless other routes you can take as well…  and they all lead to success. In life theres no shortage of obstacles and hurdles but If you focus on the hurdle right before you and not on all the hurdles down the road you’ll keep your sanity and realize its not as bad as you think. You can only jump over one hurdle at a time anyways. Deal with one issue at a time and before you know it….  you’re road will be clear and you can smile to yourself knowing “you made it through”.

Misery loves company….

When I use to work at this one company there was a co-worker where every time she saw me she ALWAYS had some derogatory comment for me. Whether it was about my size,  my shape,  what I was wearing and etc,  she took every opportunity to humiliate me in front of others. There were occasions when me and her would have good conversation but it never failed at some point she’d once again have some mean remark to say to me. I always walked away questioning myself, mad and hurt for the things she said. Especially since I was always nice and positive to her.

There are those in life you’ll come across who will literally seek JOY in trying to make you feel bad about yourself. They will bring up past negative events in your life.  They will make ignorant comparisons between you and them or you and others.  They will nitpick on your physical characteristics. Theres no limit to what these individuals will say or do just to see hurt and/or humiliation in your eyes. Their goal is to make you feel as bad about yourself that they feel about themself. Some people are “obviously” hating on you but then there are those you’d “never ever” guess who find you to be a threat.  That hate can come from some of the most unsuspecting individuals. NOTE:Just because a person is beautiful,  successful,  a relative, friend, co-worker or christian does NOT mean they can’t be jealous of you. Either (1) respond with kindness to their hatefulness (2) Speak up if need be (3) walk away “WITH YOUR HEAD UP”.

Whatever happened between me and that co-worker? Well, I decided to respond kindly to her hate. I refused to let her hurt me anymore. The next time she walked up to my desk I tried my new approach.  After she told me how ugly she thinks my hairstyle was and how I need to go to a beautician ASAP…. I acknowledged her comment and let her know my next hair appointment will be in a month. She made a few more derogatory comments about my hair (trying to get a rise out of me). I would make a polite response each time.  Ill always remember her last comment to me….

Co-worker: “you’re not mad”?

Me:  “not at all,  why would I be”?

She literally just stood there staring at me for a full minute.  Then she rolled her eyes and walked away.  For the next two years until she left the company not one time did she ever say another negative thing to me. Who woulda guessed…  😉

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For the good times…

I just got back from vacation with my family. The trip did not turn out the way I had hoped and imagined it would. You plan and wait a whole year for a vacation and when its finally here and you get to your location… your children are whiney & wont sleep at night. Your super tired and lacking in energy. Everything is rushed because your trying to get too many things packed into a short amount of days. Its not just you on the vacation so your trying to accommodate everyone so that everyone can feel to a certain extent that this vacation you planned was all worth it and that they didnt waste their money. Not to mention before you left for vacation… bills that didn’t exist prior to vacation suddenly transpire outta thin air & are due immediately.  So now you dont have the money you thought you’d have for vacation.

Its soooooo easy to dwell on everything that went wrong. Then you step back, breath  and start smiling as you think about the hidden positives you had. The simple moments when everyone is sitting around laughing, talking and shooting pool. The moments where everyone is sharing whatever food, drinks & /or items they bought from Walmart . Everyone standing in line together to get on amusement park rides. Watching the fireworks display at night. Ducking and dodging the police because youve packd too many ppl in one small SUV. (You weren’t expecting that last comment were you?)  lol Let me tell you I learned two things that afternoon … #1- a life of crime is NOT for me! Dont try to cram more than the alotted specified amount of people to a vehicle.   Between avoiding eye contact with other motorist outta fear of being “turned in” and hiding from every sheriff car I saw… I had to have had at least 40 mini heart attacks in a 20 minute car ride. Its just not worth it!!  Heart attacks and fines all because some people dont want to make two trips getting and taking people to the store. #2- in the unfortunate chance a cop stops behind you at a red light, your more flexible than you think. Adults get into a cramped car sore, stiff and immobile but let a cop car get behind you… Its amazing how the stiffest people can simultaneously loosen and breakdown every bone in their body so that they can duck down into the smallest of crevasses. We probably looked like a bunch of transformers shape shifting around in that car. Funniest thing ive ever seen and been a part of but not my proudest moment.

Thats the great thing about the mind. You can choose to either dwell on all the wrongs that happened or you can instead choose to focus on all the memories that made you smile. EDIT EDIT EDIT what you choose to dwell on and make your memories beautiful 🌹

Me, myself and I…

It is the most incredible, exhilarating thing to actually be able to see how youve changed from the person you were before (even in as little as a year) to the person you are this moment. Some people are a natural when it comes to being go-getters; being confident; optimistic; bold…  but alot of others like me are shy,  indecisive,  people pleasers,  passive-aggressive and etc.  So for the sake of self-respect there comes a point when you start tweeking yourselves to become bolder because the alternative is to stay a doormat or unfulfilled and those are heartbreaking words for a person to live their life being .

When you start on that journey of self-love its imperative to celebrate the small accomplishments you make when you start listening to your own inner voice vs listening to “the fear in you”.  The side of you that talks you out of doing something you truly want to do. Like speaking up for yourself when someone is dictating what you need or better do. Or being to scared to wear that bold red lipstick or new outfit because “what will people think?”  Or picking up and relocating without a plan because “who does that?” Or leaving a job you hate and starting a new entrepreneurial venture.

Theres no time like the present and you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy.  Who told you not to do “this” or that you cant be “that”? I have found that my BIGGEST regrets so far in life arent regrets for things I chose to do but rather all the things I was to self conscious to do.  My list is long of things I did or didnt do based off other people opinions. Im breaking thru that fear though and listning to MYself. “Feel the fear and do it anyway“.  Regardless what “noise” is all around you… Believe in yourself and value your opinion.  Do what YOU want.  Now of course theres some situations where you need to heed the advise of a wise person but for the normal average person most things boil down to common sense and “personal opinion”. Dont be fooled by the people who try to bully and intimidate you into believing what they believe. What they believe is STILL an opinion no matter how loud they talk. Remember you are worthy to have YOUR own opinion too especially when it involves YOUR life. So what is it youve been to afraid to do? What is it your inner soul is crying out for you to try? What is it that makes you smile and tugs at your heart strings?  “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”

Ive gotta tell you,  I built up the courage to buy that bright red lipstick.. and im not gonna lie… I look good in RED 😗

mom vs dad

So im at-home with the kids all day today.  A 4-month old and a 2 year old. Im meeting the husband up at Burlington coat factory later this evening when he gets off work so we can buy a few odds and ends that we need. Im in the store with a baby that’s getting restless and a 2 year old that wants to excercise her legs  by running and jumping hurdles through racks of clothes. I keep looking at the clock because as soon as the husband comes ill have help in dealing with these two “blessings” I have. 9pm comes and I get a call from the husband saying he’s here… where am I? “OH HAPPY DAY” ive got help.

Well…  he takes the baby while im in the dressing room. Thats very convenient for him seeing as how the  baby is now asleep. The 2yr old… my daughter stays with me in the dressing room. I continue trying on outfits as im telln her to stop trying to crawl under the door.  Of course she thinks its funny which makes her crawl even faster into the next fitting room.  All you hear from my dressing room is grunts, “stop it’s”,  “you better not’s”,  “get over here’s” and “see, thats why you hurt yourself,  you shoulda listened to me”.  Finally im done trying on clothes.  Me and my lil “blessing” go searching for the husband to meet up with him. As im searching for the husband  of course my daughter is an escape artist and can wiggle that little hand of hers outta mine and go full steam ahead through the next 5 aisles. As im chasing her and eventually catching up with her she chooses to lift both her legs off the ground as im holding her hand.  Im sure looking through the store camera’s it looks like im dragging my daughter and thats ok with me… “I DONT CARE!”  Shes welcome to bring her feet back to the ground if it becomes an issue for her.  Finally I see the husband.

The baby of course was content with him until he (my newborn) caught sight of me. He starts screaming for me so I go ahead and pick up my newborn and hold him. I walk away to continue shopping until I notice my lil toddler is trodding alone behind me. “Fine!! ”  I say to myself… she seems to have mellowed out.  Well she stayed mellow for 2minutes. She shoots off down the aisle and my newborn is talking loudly and laughing in my ear. Im sure hes enjoying having a front row seat to watching his mother blood pressure raise.  So now Im chasing my daughter with a newborn in my arms.  My busband is somewhere in the store no doubt enjoying his shopping experience. I catch up to my toddler and grab her hand… once again with her lifting her feet off the ground so once again… shes being dragged.

I finally see the husband again and I angrily say “here’s your daughter” then i turn and walk away.  Surely he saw the frustration in his wifes eyes and feels sympathy for me. WRONG…. WRONG!   I stop in a aisle and who bumps into my leg?  thats right… my toddler!! I turn eyeing EACH aisle looking for him.  I finally see him. Is he panicking because he dont know where his daughter went? NOPE!  Instead hes in the freakn aisle with the buggy dancing to Katy Perry.  At that moment im glaring my eyes at him and seething hatred is overtaking me. If looks could kill my husband would not only be dead but unrecognizable.

Its amazing how you can have two people in similar situations but they both have two totally different experiences.  Thats why if you ask a mother vs the dad… choose what the mom says because her version will most likely be more accurate. (no offense to the dads of course)