Crabs anyone?…

I remember before I relocated I was talking to a supposed “friend” about what my goal was.  Immediately she started saying a whole bunch of negative stuff like telling me “im not going no where”.  “It’s so selfish on my part to be trying to relocate”. “I’m taking my daughter away from her grandparents”.  “If I can’t be content in one location I wont be content in any location because the problem was me”. I couldn’t get her comments out my head.  Was I being selfish? Did I need to learn to be happy where I’m at? Will I not be content wherever I live? 😳 A while later I talked to a different person about what was bothering me.  She informed me that the person who said that stuff to me been wanting to move for years but her husband doesn’t want to so that’s the only reason she’s still living there.  I was shocked and angry!   Shocked because why would she be so hard on me when she wants to move as well?  Angry because I wasted sleepless nights thinking about all that crap she said to me and questioning my own intentions.

Whenever your trying to change, grow, start on a new journey or start on a new you…. Some of your biggest critics can and will be those closest to you. Friends, associates, family, co-workers, neighbors and etc. Amazing how some of the people closest to you are the very ones who don’t want you to excel or move on. It can be VERY disappointing not receiving the support you’d like but when starting on something new alot of times you have to start alone. Not everyone is going to understand your vision and not everyone wants you to be happy. In the end its only your voice that matters anyway.  Ignore the noise of people opinions on what they feel you should be doing because no one can live your life but YOU!  Push fear aside and see what your made of 😊 Dont be a victim of the “crabs in a bucket” mentality (people trying to hold you back so you can stay in the same “boat” as them. Break free from negative crabs and climb out that bucket!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Unanswered Prayers

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs…. That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”– Garth Brooks

For the longest time… I wanted to relocate to Arizona. I was in LOVE with that state.  When I say in “LOVE” I mean it!  😍 I was even originally naming my daughter “Arizona”… “Ari” for short. Relocating there was one of the only consistent topics I talked about daily. I had dreams about living there frequently. I LOVE that its HOT there.  I HATE the cold… absolutely despise it!  I LOVE the desert and I LOVE the mountains.  If a person wanted to make me smile… all they had to do was mention Arizona.  Unfortunately though im a planner.  I just couldn’t make the move until everything was in perfect order. I learned to late that for somethings in life there will NEVER be the “perfect” moment. Relocation is one of those. You will always need more money saved or a better job or more this and more that.  Sometimes you need to just leap and figure things out as you go. Because my dream was taking so long to accomplish I eventually became bitter and depressed.  Everyone around me was getting jobs and relocating left and right but me who desperately wanted it was getting no where.

One thing that helped me to keep my emotions from totally getting the best of me was this quote:The way I figured it…. maybe things keep going wrong because it wasnt “my time”  to be living in Arizona.  Who knows… maybe me not being there at that moment was protecting me from something that “may” had happened had I been there at that moment.  There coulda been a situation that happened that woulda been to my detriment.  Or on the flipside maybe im suppose to be there at a certain moment that would change my life for the better but it means I gotta wait a little longer to get to Arizona. I dont know… my mind was going in all kinds of ways. I actually dont believe in fate but I do like that quote 😊

Anyways,  because getting to Arizona seemed like a dream that wasnt gonna happen, my husband started looking into other places to live. I begrudgingly went alone with that option. My husband wanted to live in Houston,  TX.  I had never been to Texas nor was the idea of living there appealing to me because im not a city girl and I love scenery (mountains to be exact).  Either way we went on vacation to Houston,  TX to check it out. My husband remembered a part of Houston that he loved. It was an area in the Southeast corner of Houston located by the water. I was pretty shocked when we made it there. The weather was nice and warm.  The people were friendly.  Their were streets were lined with palm trees and the ocean was on my right. Needless to say for the first time in my life I became “open” to possibly living somewhere other than my beloved Arizona. When me and the husband got back home we both started applying for jobs in both Phoenix,  Az and Houston, TX. Whichever place hired one of us was where we were going. Well,  wouldn’t you know it… Houston won 😨!  I finally made the move out of Missouri that id been wanting for years.

Phoenix,  Arizona will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS  have my heart but I like where I now live.  I NEVER would have saw myself living somewhere else but in order for my life to move forward I had to let go of something that meant the world to me.  Is there some dream or goal your longing for? If so…  dont be like me,  wasting time planning,  wishing,  waiting and hoping for the “perfect” moment. There are no perfect moments in life… you either do it or you dont! Maybe youre someone who can find the courage to take that leap of faith and go for it? Or maybe your dream can be “tweaked”  a little bit to make it more attainable? Or maybe its time for you to “let go” of what your so desperately trying to hold on to and allow room for the unimaginable to happen 🎆. Either way, whatever you choose… have faith that even though you may not end up where you want …  you’ll still end up right where you belong 😙

“Just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he dont care; some of God’s greatest gifts are “unanswered prayers”.

…..

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Eye of the Tiger…

I’m gonna let you in on a bit of information on me…  I’m a MAJOR Sylvester Stallone fan 😍! One of my FAVORITE characters is Rocky Balboa. (Besides the fact that I think he’s ABSOLUTELY gorgeous) the quality I LOVE most about Rocky is that he had a lot of “heart”. Though he had moments were he doubted himself he still in the end ALWAYS came out fighting.  In life we will ALWAYS have moments were we may feel were not qualified enough, not beautiful enough,  not smart enough,  not rich enough or not strong enough to do or get something we truly want.  The list can go on and on, but, like Rocky we can CHOOSE to push fear aside and FIGHT for the things we want…  and in the end WIN! Thought id use todays post to share one of my favorite quotes from him. The below quote was in a scene from the movie “Rocky Balboa” where he’s talking to his son. I think what he tells his son is so fitting for ANY of us as we continue striving to move forward in life…

“Somewhere alone the line you changed.  You stopped being you.  You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard,  you started looking for someone to blame,  like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.”― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

“Dont tap into your inner FEAR…   tap into your inner FIGHTER” (yea, I came up with that)  😉

…..

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Don’t waste your time on people who wont listen

I have a girlfriend of mine who was dating a guy.  Now im gonna be honest…the guy was a jerk!  Everyday she called me about some new incident that happened between her and her controlling boyfreind; and every single day I found myself getting mad over and over again as I listened to her stories. Id give her sound advise and she always “seemed” to listen to me.  In the end tho… she never did. Everytime I got off the phone with her I’d feel tired and drained.  Her problems were sucking the life out of me… literally!

Im sure majority of us have someone in our life that drains us of all our energy with their drama (I bet their face just popped up in your mind).  😉 These people LOVE to compain yet they have NO INTENTION of getting out of their situation. Nor are they truly even listening to the advise your giving them. While your at home having asthma attacks and mini-heart attacks thinking about them and their situation; their home relaxing …. CONTENT in their situation.

There’s nothing wrong with being a sounding board for your freind but when your words are falling on deaf ears and its draining you to listen to them… its time to make a change.   Listen to your freinds if you choose but learn to not get overly involved or sucked into their drama. Unfortunately some people love to complain about being dirty as they continue playing in the mud.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Keep Calm and Move Forward

I started a new venture about a year ago.  I was doing so good in accomplishing my goal but one morning I woke up and had lost all desire to do it anymore.  I was devastated!  I started thinking that “ive failed”!  “Maybe it wasnt meant to be”. “Maybe its a sign that I shouldn’t be doing it”.  I talked to a friend of mine about it and she said “One of the BIGGEST reasons people fail is because their trying to be perfect“. Her comment was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and it was true.

Its so easy to forget on a daily basis that: Your NOT perfect….  Nor is any situation perfect!   You can follow in the EXACT same footsteps as someone and yet you have a totally different outcome than they do.  Thats why you must live YOUR life and focus on YOURself.

It doesnt matter what goal,  task or venture your involved in. It doesn’t matter if its at your job,  in your home, in your marriage,  as a parent,  dealing with friends, co-workers or the general public. It doesn’t matter if its physical, mental,  emotional or spiritual.  No matter what your involved in…… there will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS  be good days and bad days.   No matter how much you love something or someone; No matter how much you truly want something to work out…   Doubts will ALWAYS creep in. Desires will ALWAYS temporarily be lost at some point.  It can be discouraging… but thats LIFE! Dont lose faith, heart or give up because your having a bad moment and NEVER make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling your having. LIFE is a “continuous” learning process. Be patient with yourself, celebrate the small victories and continue moving forward 😊

……

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Your grass is beautiful…

Im not gonna lie…  it can be hard not getting a tad jealous sometimes when you feel things arent going right for you.  You get on Facebook and are bombarded with all these beautiful posts and pictures of your “friends” lives. All the happy couples, the wonderful things their kids are doing, how fast they lost twenty pounds in 2 days, how quick their hair grew back after it was shaved off, how their being “blessed” (ONCE AGAIN) by “God” which is ironic since you personally know their a spawn of the devil. 

You must remember though… pictures posted on Facebook/Instagram are usually only the good things people choose to show you. All the good moments. Your not seeing the struggles,  the crying,  the arguments and most importantly… the LIES and exaggerations. Im not saying everyones lying with what they post.  Nor am I saying don’t be happy for people. What I am saying is….  Be happy for people but appreciate YOURself and YOUR life.  Dont be jealous or envious thinking the grass is greener on their side of the fence… Because that grass your admiring most likely isnt even real.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

To be loved…

I wrote this post as I sat outside at 1am just to escape all the loud crying from two little ones.  Its tiresome and frustrating to deal with children literally all day!  Even when my spouse is home its as if he’s not home because men are soooo different from women (in general).  My spouse will keep sleeping through loud shrills and cries in the middle of the night. If the baby rolls over and falls out the bed im pretty sure my spouse will lay in bed like he didn’t hear a thing just so I can get the baby.  He leaves the apartment with no thought in mind to take at least one of the kids with him. He sleeps on the couch so he can get rest while im left in the bedroom woke trying to get two little ones to sleep.  If the baby is crying he’ll hold the baby (NEAR ME mind you) and just let the baby cry in his arms for hours!   He gets the freedom to go to the restroom alone!  Take showers alone!   Not only that but he shuts the door when he goes in! 😱  I wouldn’t dare shut the door!   One of the kids would most certainly die,  choke or have some type of emergency if I thought of closing the door for 30 seconds of peace!  He eats ALL his food UNINTERRUPTED while I sit their feeding a newborn and trying to eat while my daughter sticks her big head into my plate trying to eat whats on my fork. It can be infuriating not getting a moments rest while the husband carelessly breezes through life 😠

Then I think about other moments like when he comes home after a 12hr shift and  goes into the bedroom to sit and play legos with our daughter. Or how when a commercial with music comes on and our daughter pulls him off the couch to dance with her… he ALWAYS gets up even if he’s eating. He reads to them every night though he’s falling asleep between each sentence. He wakes up at 5am to go to work for 12 hours and battle crazy Houston traffic never once complaining or making mention on the fact of how im a at-home mom (tho thats a job too).  My husband frustrates me to no end!  Usually because everything he does tends to be wrong! Yes,  my husband is not perfect in no sense of the word; but he’s a good guy and a wonderful dad and for that im grateful 🌹

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Misery loves company….

When I use to work at this one company there was a co-worker where every time she saw me she ALWAYS had some derogatory comment for me. Whether it was about my size,  my shape,  what I was wearing and etc,  she took every opportunity to humiliate me in front of others. There were occasions when me and her would have good conversation but it never failed at some point she’d once again have some mean remark to say to me. I always walked away questioning myself, mad and hurt for the things she said. Especially since I was always nice and positive to her.

There are those in life you’ll come across who will literally seek JOY in trying to make you feel bad about yourself. They will bring up past negative events in your life.  They will make ignorant comparisons between you and them or you and others.  They will nitpick on your physical characteristics. Theres no limit to what these individuals will say or do just to see hurt and/or humiliation in your eyes. Their goal is to make you feel as bad about yourself that they feel about themself. Some people are “obviously” hating on you but then there are those you’d “never ever” guess who find you to be a threat.  That hate can come from some of the most unsuspecting individuals. NOTE:Just because a person is beautiful,  successful,  a relative, friend, co-worker or christian does NOT mean they can’t be jealous of you. Either (1) respond with kindness to their hatefulness (2) Speak up if need be (3) walk away “WITH YOUR HEAD UP”.

Whatever happened between me and that co-worker? Well, I decided to respond kindly to her hate. I refused to let her hurt me anymore. The next time she walked up to my desk I tried my new approach.  After she told me how ugly she thinks my hairstyle was and how I need to go to a beautician ASAP…. I acknowledged her comment and let her know my next hair appointment will be in a month. She made a few more derogatory comments about my hair (trying to get a rise out of me). I would make a polite response each time.  Ill always remember her last comment to me….

Co-worker: “you’re not mad”?

Me:  “not at all,  why would I be”?

She literally just stood there staring at me for a full minute.  Then she rolled her eyes and walked away.  For the next two years until she left the company not one time did she ever say another negative thing to me. Who woulda guessed…  😉

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

Thats what friends are for…

Everyone is good for different things. I’ve learned the hard way that not all “friends” make for a good person to confide in, vent to or disclose personal information to. Unfortunately some of your “closest” companions are going through things themselves.  They can’t see past their own pain to be able to help you when your going through something.  Life has a way of changing people.  Someone you may have been close to at one time you no longer have things in common with; or that sweet friend you had at one time is now a hateful individual. Some “friends” personality flaws make for a bad confidante. If you “open up” to them you may find your words getting twisted and misconstrued.   They may gossip about you or be extra critical of you. You may even be surprised to find out that your “dear” friend is secretly happy things aren’t working out for you.  No matter how much you may want to talk to an individual… go with your gut. “When your “friend” shows you the type of person they truly are the first time… Believe them”. Trust me…  it’s a HORRIBLE feeling to have “opened up” to the wrong person.

Be careful who you talk too… Some of your “friends” have not actually “earned” your trust.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼

The strongest word….

Have you ever HATE someone? Some consider hate to be a strong word. If your one of those not comfortable with the word HATE i’ll instead ask.. Have you ever truly,  deeply,  whole-heartedly, sincerely disliked someone? I however have no issues with the word Hate and for me Hate isn’t even a strong enough word for what I felt. The words LOATHE and ABHOR sound much more accurate for me and what I thought of these individuals.

For you maybe the reason you dislike a person is because they betrayed you in some way. Maybe you were humiliated by the person. Maybe someone commited a crime against you. For me I had those deep feelings for individuals who willfully and deliberately talk to me like crap and made no apology for it. Thats a pet peeve of mine. I cant stand people who WONT apologize or acknowledge when their wrong!

To be done wrong and never get an apology can be a hard pill to swallow. I REFUSED to forgive because I felt to forgive is to let the individuals “off the hook” sorta speak. I felt that to forgive meant I had to “let go” of whatever they did and go back to dealing with them like nothing ever happned. That was too hard for me especially since everytime I saw these individuals my heart would start pounding and I could feel heat rising up on my body like a volcano ready to explode.

It took years for me to tweek what I thought “forgiveness” meant. What I learned is: First,  when you forgive someone.. its not for the other person.  To forgive helps YOU! It helps to cool all that heat and rage within you for the individual. It helps you to “let go” of the situation(s) as in “learn a lesson”  from it and move on. That brings me to the second thing I learned… “letting go” of the situation(s) doesn’t mean you have to go back to being how you were with the individual (as if nothing ever happned). Due to “learning the lesson” you’ll come to see how you must proceed in future interactions with them. Maybe your going to keep the relationship to just being cordial. Maybe you and the person will continue to be friends but you wont disclose certain elements of your life to them anymore. Or maybe this is someone you just totally need to eliminate out your life for your own peace of mind.

The only thing you can do is change yourself and how your going to respond to the person. I will say tho, alot of issues between people can be eliminated simply by speaking up when things first happen.  Not letting things continue to happen,  grow and fester.  In the end your only hurting yourself while the person you hate or deeply dislike is continuing to live their life.  Some people are to far gone and its going to take something much greater than yourself for this person to change. So forget that person and focus on yourself.

Forgive the past

Learn the Lesson in the present

and

Speak Up in the future

Clothe yourself with LOVE and dont allow Hate to consume you…

For Love is stronger than Hate 🌸

Thank you for visiting my blog. I welcome your comments 💞 If you like this post & want to read more & /or be updated when I post again… hit the “follow”  button located in the options box at the very top of this page 🌼